Top 10 Lies Men Tell Women

No. 10
“I’m stuck in traffic”

Apparently we men use this excuse for running late even when we have a different but still perfectly legitimate excuse.

Men aren’t in love with communication the way women are so they prefer to use this all purpose lie rather than going into detail about anything else.

 

No. 9
“It wasn’t that expensive”

This lie is invariably trotted out when we come home with a brand new gadget. It can do a truckload of hi-tech stuff but the missus thinks it's stupid.

 

No. 8
“I’m on my way”

One of the worst things that can happen to a man is when his girlfriend starts yelling at him because the onslaught seems never ending. Many, many lies are told to avert this danger.

 

No. 7
“I didn’t have too much to drink”

Again we don’t want a telling off but the fact is we were having too good a time with the lads to switch from Carlsberg to tap water.

 

No. 6
“Sorry I missed your call”

Sometimes we missed it but sometimes we just couldn’t be bothered to pick up. Match of the Day was on.

 

No. 5
“My battery died”

Sometimes the battery died but more often than not we just can't face yet another conversation with an overzealous woman.

Men are notoriously bad at letting women know tactfully yet firmly when they are not interested so avoidance and lies are used to deflect unwanted attention...it may keep the girl dangling but it’s not as bad as it seems, we’re only trying not to hurt you in our own clumsy way.

 

No. 4
“I had no signal”

Everything said in the above paragraph applies.

 

No. 3
"No, Your Butt Doesn't Look Big in That"


This is the answer to one of the most feared questions females ask. Even if she’s a whale men aren't stupid and will never the truth. If you really want to know if your butt looks big then take an honest look in the mirror and don’t mess with our tranquillity.

 

No. 2

"This Will Be My Last Beer"

...or the fifth last beer before the ultimate last beer.

 

No. 1

"Nothing's Wrong, I'm Fine"

This lie is not reserved for men only; it is a universal lie that we all employ.

Sometimes we need a while to process something before we are ready to talk about it. Sometimes we’re angry with you and are attempting to give you the silent treatment. Sometimes work pressures are getting to us. And sometimes we really are fine, and you just caught us at a point when we were being particularly vacant.

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