Don’t Mince Your Words Love!

by Delia Kent

As a relationship writer I often browse the internet and forums for ideas and different perspectives on matters of the heart and one of the most amusing parts of that pursuit is to read all the debates the opposite sexes get into.

Both men and women can get so riled up when talking about our differences that once in a while someone will come out with the most outlandish of statements making me burst into laughter.

Over the last few months I’ve complied some of these comments and I thought it was time to share them with you....

 

A woman’s response to a man who complained about a woman’s sexual technique:

Men should just shut up and enjoy that we lick your nasty stinky balls, and make ourselves almost puke by shoving your penis down our throats! & when women stop doing something you're enjoying, like bjs, thats because she is tired. Get over it!

 

A man’s response to a woman’s complaint that they are uncommunicative:

If you really hate the things men say and do so much, become a lesbian or stop complaining.

 

A woman’s response to a man who has posted a list of things women should not say/do to a guy:

What honestly makes you think youre worth it? I mean really. do you think you're brad pitt? No man is worth watching every little thing you say, especially based on a list of rules created by an ego challenged overcompensating dick. What, do you have a GOLDEN PENIS? Because obviously something about you must be so special that you feel like you are gods gift to women, and therefore can advise them on matters of love. I feel terribly sorry for any foolish woman who ever falls for this shit. you should be on Tool academy.

 

A man’s take on the double standard that women who sleep around are slags and men who sleep around are studs:

Of course we’re studs! Getting any decent girl to sleep you after one night takes charisma, perseverance and charm and even with all that, 8 times out of 10 she’ll still knock us back. Whereas if you’re a girl you can probably snag a one night stand just by tarting yourself up & being up for it. You’re not gonna get the credit for nothing!

 

A woman’s response to a guy who complained about girl’s dumping him by saying “lets be friends”:

Well what the fuck are we supposed to say? We hope you die?!

 

And finally the conversation that sums up the funniest of male female exchanges I have come across. This is an interview between a rather over zealous female journalist and the one and only General Cosgrove:

“FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL COSGROVE: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the
rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

 

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